I was 16 at the time, and had never really thought about God. I had friends that were Christian, but never really asked much or bothered knowing. Then, one friend died in a tragic drowning during a flash flood. I started dwelling on the bigger picture to life, not knowing what comes after death and unable to find peace about why my friend, who was a good person, could be taken so soon. I would often think, “if there was a God, why would He let something like this happen?”
“Are you even there?”
I was different than my usual self for a while, struggling to find any light. Finally, I just had to try something. One night, I bowed my head before dinner, aware that sometimes people pray before meals. I then thought maybe the worst prayer ever given, something along the lines of, “Hey God. Uhh, not really sure what I’m doing here, uhh. Well, thanks I guess for the food my mom made. Thanks for my life. I just… umm. This is awkward. I don’t know. Hmm. Are you even there? I just wanna know, are you there?”. I opened my eyes. Nothing. Well. Never have to do that again.
“I found myself starting to see light again”
But after that prayer, I found myself wanting to pray again for seemingly no reason. I told my friends this, and they taught me different ways I could pray. Eventually, I found myself starting to see light again, as questions I didn’t even know I had started being answered by small feelings I’d have during or after praying. Looking back, it’s easy for me to see that one prayer really can change the course of a life. Now, I do everything I can to follow Jesus and trust God’s plan for me.